not too graceful.

WARNING: I'm gonna share to you a something of me so please don't hate. And yes, in case you are wondering, I am still in that i-got-no-motivation-to-write-or-am-i-just-lazy feeling. They say I need some get away and soul searching. Yes maybe. I don't know. But one thing I know: I miss those days when I don't have to worry about a thing..because someones taking care of me.

HEH. 

CRY.. if it makes you feel better.

a real women..

im lazy and i know it!

Arrgh. I wish I could just stay in bed and sleep for like three weeks straight. ...Yeah I know...! I've been a lazy bum this week I almost forgot that I have this kind of page that I have to update in any ways I can. SMACK SMACK!
Luckily, I found my time yesterday morning to atleast copy something on the internet and paste it down there(check the last three prev posts). Yes you are right bibi. I just got it somewhere www and they're all pretty long!. ;) hihi. And now that I still have that lazychuklavuh, I want you all to check out this beyoootippol and amazing collaboration of my all time favorite zzingerr P!nk with Nate Ruess. Hot hot. ;) CLICK HERE!!


JUST GIVE ME A REASON

Right from the start
You were a thief you stole my heart
And I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
Now you've been talking in your sleep
Things you never say to me
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
Im sorry I don't understand where all of this is coming
from
I thought that we were fine
Oh we had everything
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everything
And its all in your mind
Yeah but this is happening
You've been having real bad dreams
Oh oh
You used to lie so close to me
Oh oh
There's nothing more than empty sheets
Between out love, our love, oh our love, our love
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
I never stopped
You're still written in the scars on my heart
Your not broken just bent and we can learn to love
again
Oh tears ducts and rust
I'll fix it for us
We're collecting dust but our love's enough
You're holding it in
You're pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll come clean
Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

uhmm..yeaa.

Date a girl who cooks. Date a girl who spends her
money on blenders instead of clothes. She has
problems with closet space because she has too
many cookbooks. Date a girl who has a list of
recipes she wants to make, who has had a Bon Appetit membership since
she was twelve. Find a girl who cooks. You'll know that she does
because she'll always smell like baking bread.
She's the one lovingly looking over the spice rack
in the grocery store, the one who quietly cries out
when she finds the seasoning she wants. You see
the weird chick sniffing the fruit in a farmers market? That's the
cook. They can never resist
smelling the produce, especially when it is ripe. She's the girl in
the coffee shop that asks the
cashier if she can taste test everything. If you take
a peek at her cake, it's been disemboweled, each
element separated from the other as she tried to
figure out what each ingredient is. She's engrossed
in the savory experience. Lost in her taste buds. Sit down. She might
give you a smile, as most girls
who cook like to cook for people. Ask her if she
likes the cake. Buy her another mug of Adagio Thai Chai tea.
Let her know what you really think of dark
chocolate. See if she's ever made turducken.
Understand that if she says she likes foie gras she's
just saying that to sound sophisticated. Ask her if
she loves Julia or would like to be Julia. It's easy to date a girl
who cooks. Give her rolling
pins for her birthday, basting brushes for
Christmas and bread pans for anniversaries. Give
her the gift of tastes in baskets, in bottles. Give her
Bordeaux, Turkish Delight, Anjou pears. Let her
know that you understand that food is love. If you find a girl who
cooks, keep her close. When
you find her in the kitchen at 2 AM, everyone
around her stupefied into food comas and the
counters littered with vegetable peel and mounds
of sugar, help her clean it. Then lick the bowl
together. You will propose in a winery in France. Or while
frosting on a cake. Or very casually in a pizzeria
when she needs some comfort food. You will smile so hard you will
wonder why your
heart hasn't burst and bled out all over your chest
yet. You will taste the lusciousness of your lives,
have kids with strange names and even stranger
tastes. She will introduce your children to
peppermint hot cocoa and alcoholic apple-pear cider, maybe in the same
day. You will walk the
winters of your old age together and she will
drizzle maple syrup on the snow while you shake
the ice off your boots. Date a girl who cooks because you deserve it. You
deserve a girl who can give you the most delicious
life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony,
and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then
you're better off alone. If you want the world and
the worlds beyond it, date a girl who cooks.

oh.yes.

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends
her money on books instead of clothes. She
has problems with closet space because she
has too many books. Date a girl who has a list
of books she wants to read, who has had a
library card since she was twelve. Find a girl who reads. You'll know that she
does because she will always have an unread
book in her bag.She's the one lovingly looking
over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who
quietly cries out when she finds the book she
wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a
second hand book
shop? That's the reader. They can never resist
smelling the pages, especially when they are
yellow. She's the girl reading while waiting in that
coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek
at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating
on top because she's kind of engrossed
already. Lost in a world of the author's making.
Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not
like to be interrupted.
Ask her if she likes the book. Buy her another cup of coffee. Let her
know what you really think of
Murakami. See if she got through the first
chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she
says she understood James Joyce's Ulysses
she's just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask
her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice. It's easy to
date a girl who reads. Give her
books for her birthday, for Christmas and for
anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in
poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound,
Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you
understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the
difference between books
and reality but by god, she's going to try to
make her life a little like her favorite book. It
will never be your fault if she does. She has to give it a shot
somehow. Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will
understand your need to lie. Behind words are
other things: motivation, value, nuance,
dialogue. It will not be the end of the world. Fail her. Because a
girl who reads knows that
failure always leads up to the climax. Because
girls who understand that all things will come
to end. That you can always write a sequel.
That you can begin again and again and still be
the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two. Why be
frightened of everything that you are
not? Girls who read understand that people,
like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight
series. If you find a girl who reads, keep her close.
When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book
to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of
tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple
of hours but she will always come back to you.
She'll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a
while, they always are. You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or
during a rock concert. Or very casually next
time she's sick. Over Skype. You will smile so hard you will wonder why
your heart hasn't burst and bled out all over
your chest yet. You will write the story of your
lives, have kids with strange names and even
stranger tastes. She will introduce your
children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You
will walk the winters of
your old age together and she will recite Keats
under her breath while you shake the snow off
your boots. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it.
You deserve a girl who can give you the most
colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her
monotony, and stale hours and half-baked
proposals, then you're better off alone. If you
want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads. Or
better yet, date a girl who writes.
--Rosemarie Urquico

oh.no.

Date a girl who doesn't read. Find her in the
weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her
in the smoke, drunken sweat, and
varicolored light of an upscale nightclub.
Wherever you find her, find her smiling.
Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look
away. Engage
her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-
up lines and laugh inwardly. Take her
outside when the night overstays its
welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of
fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp
because you've seen it
in film. Remark at its lack of significance.
Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with
making love. Fuck her. Let the anxious contract you've unwittingly
written evolve slowly and uncomfortably
into a relationship. Find shared interests and
common ground like sushi, and folk music.
Build an impenetrable bastion upon that
ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale,
or the evenings get
long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do
little thinking. Let the months pass
unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her
decorate. Get into fights about
inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be
closed so that it
doesn't fucking collect mold. Let a year pass
unnoticed. Begin to notice. Figure that you should probably get married
because you will have wasted a lot of time
otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-
fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your
means. Make sure there is a beautiful view
of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne
with a modest
ring in it. When she notices, propose to her
with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you
can muster. Do not be overly concerned if
you feel your heart leap through a pane of
sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot
feel it at all. If there
is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile
as if you've never been happier. If she
doesn't, smile all the same. Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career,
not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking
children. Try to raise them well. Fail,
frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference.
Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a
mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel
sometimes contented,
but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during
walks, as if you might never return, or as if
you might blow away on the wind. Contract
a terminal illness. Die, but only after you
observe that the girl who didn't read never made your heart oscillate with any
significant passion, that no one will write the
story of your lives, and that she will die, too,
with only a mild and tempered regret that
nothing ever came of her capacity to love. Do those things, god damnit, because
nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads.
Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is
better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl
who reads possesses a vocabulary that can
describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary
that parses the
innate beauty of the world and makes it an
accessible necessity instead of an alien
wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a
vocabulary that distinguishes between the
specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the
inarticulate
desperation of someone who loves her too
much. A vocabulary, god damnit, that
makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick. Do it, because a girl who
reads understands
syntax. Literature has taught her that
moments of tenderness come in sporadic
but knowable intervals. A girl who reads
knows that life is not planar; she knows,
and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A
girl who has read up on her syntax senses
the irregular pauses—the hesitation of
breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads
perceives the difference between a
parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter
cynicism will run on, run on well past any
point of reason, or purpose, run on far after
she has packed a suitcase and said a
reluctant goodbye and she has decided that
I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that
knows the rhythm
and cadence of a life well lived. Date a girl who doesn't read because the girl
who reads knows the importance of plot.
She can trace out the demarcations of a
prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax.
She feels them in her skin. The girl who
reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all
things, the girl who reads knows most the
ineluctable significance of an end. She is
comfortable with them. She has bid farewell
to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of
sadness. Don't date a girl who reads because girls
who read are the storytellers. You with the
Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the
Woolf. You there in the library, on the
platform of the metro, you in the corner of
the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned
difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the
account of her life and it is bursting with
meaning. She insists that her narratives are
rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her
typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything
that I am not. But
I am weak and I will fail you, because you
have dreamed, properly, of someone who is
better than I am. You will not accept the life
that I told of at the beginning of this piece.
You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life
worthy of being
storied. So out with you, girl who reads.
Take the next southbound train and take
your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I
really, really, really hate you.
--Charles Warnke

i wish work will always be this easy..

and my life.. *chuckles* how cruel. :P pleeease, pretty please!!

NEWSFLASH: being passive is never easy.

What a day! What a horrible f#cking day it was yesterday! So f#cking
tired! Sorry I had to swear to emphasize how f#cking tired I am now..
Jeez. Can someone send me a f#cking baseball bat so I could smack the
crap out of that f#cking dayyyy!!? Holy cow... Ooooh.. Please... The
next time I say that F word again, kill me.

Yeah right. Reality has it own way of kicking your ass when you least
expect it.. You gotta be ready because I swear EVERYTHING CHANGES in a
matter of minute. You'll never know if you gonna get it all right or
nahh.. Yes it is. Life's a bitch. Welcome to the world of humans,
motherfatherrrrr....!!

quotes. part 2.

There's no easier way dealing when you're loveless this love month but to punch those inlove people in the face. Really hard. Hahaha. Of course I'm kidding. No violence here in my page. :) But since its a love month, I just can't ignore those people who seems so inlove!! Love is in the air??? Yes its everywhere. In the office, on my way home, on the TV, on the radio, online. Arrgh. Really, guys?!? Yeah yeah, please shoot me now..... I'm no bitter. I'm also inlove..just so you know! ;) I'm inlove with myself.
Okay. So, let's just go with it and tadah! I stumbled upon these quotes on the net this morning and why not share it here. Not a good idea,eh? Lewlzz. Why not. I'm in lewzerville anyway.

steady monday

I wish every Mondays will always be like this; relaxed, peaceful, no
pressure, and no work. What a way to start a new week, huh. Like a
boss. :P

Anyway, since I havent moved for a couple of hours now(how i missed
this alone time.. I only got up for shower and then back now in bed
wearing the same shirt, I swear its so comfyyy!), I got the chance to
spend a lot of time reading friends' FB statuses. :P :P :P Some are
just funny and crazy and entertaining. But most of all theres also
some inspiring quotes. Ye know, quotes to live by. I enjoyed reading
them. I liked it. Some of them may sound cliche to you but still hits
home to me. Here they are:


"You can't take everything seriously. If you do, you
become paralysed, you can't move." -SR


"Sometimes it's just better to let go of
something instead of trying to keep it."


"Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how
much you care. Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout
and cry, they won't hear you anymore." - Dr. Krunal


"To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy." - Hippocrates


"Nobody's gonna hold your hand and guide you
through, It's up for you to understand."


"Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream.
That's how I get by." - Jack Sparrow

i need to touch that suso asap!

*wink* Yes you read it right. Suso.

Omg Verona. I don't know what comes first to your mind when you hear Verona. Either Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet or the movie Letters to Juliet. Whichever story, atleast there's Juliet!  Lol. Yeah. So I just figured out last night that Verona is for reeeeaaal! Omg I almost died! A friend from Italy said that that city is just 1 hour drive from their place. WOW! Spell ENVY.
Another thing is, in the movie, there's this area in Juliet's house where people left notes(ehem, love letter) on the wall, waiting for Juliet's secretary to answer them. Isn't it cool? Too bad I forgot to ask D if it also happens in real life. But what D said is that, in that courtyard, there's also a bronze Juliet sculpture. He said the color has faded prolly due to weather and age but theres still one that shines: her right breast. Aha!

That suso. Haha. And as they said, those who touch her right suso shall receive luck in love! REALLY?? Well, who wouldn't need luck?? Ok, so I think I need to fly now to Verona, Italy and touch that suso asap. Lol. I wish..

what happened?

Reading old messages always brings me to tears. Always. Omg.

What happened? I thought I was done being sad. Theres like a sadness deep within me that just wont go away. Woooh, ang hirap lang...I cant stop myself from wondering.. Wondering if its really all for the best. Wondering if you ever miss us. Heck. I wouldnt call it a perfect relationship, but Id like to think we were happy for the most part. I seriously thought we had it. Well, we really did. Too bad we screwed it up.. Sayang. Nawala lang dahil sa nonsense selos. If only I can put it all back to places.. If only. But you never let me. :(

life is tough.but you must be tougher!

Phew! Here we are now! Another month has passed by in a blur! I cannot believe its already Feb! What does that mean? A brand new start?? Pretty please!!! After all the BS last month, after all the shocking news and secrets, shit after shit, all the cryings, dramas, joys, laughters, mosquito bites, anything! I think its safe to say any time is a great time to make a brand new start. Wait, does that make sense? Heh.

So, February. I remember two years ago, month of Feb, I sent someone an SMS that changed my whole life. Yes, my whole life. Since then I've been always excited for this month to come.. But you know what, I don't have much time for the pain now so let's just leave it that way and save it for the future entry. Yeah, really. *chuckles*

But. I know. I'm sure. One day I will fall in love again.
One day I will fall in love again, might be tomorrow, or next week or next month, or next year..we will see. But it will happen eventually. So bring it on!